Being the Force of Reason in a Chaotic Exchange
You will have noticed by now how hard it is for people to talk without it turning into an argument or even a fight. You shall readily see this not just on social media, but also when people gather for festivities. These issues are best seen when we engage in conversations. The words we use carry a lot of weight, more so now than ever before.
This is what is killing the spirit of great conversations. People are now actively avoiding talking to each other. But there are times when it is unavoidable. We should not forget how wonderful it can be to talk amongst each other. This calls for us to learn more about ways to handle conversations even when they become difficult and opposing to your views.
We need to start by killing off the idea of opposing camps in every conversation. Most topics can easily be turned into such a format that breeds fights. You need to fight the urge to take a side. Alternatively, you can ask the other party to also refrain from making the situation worse. While this may be difficult, there are some techniques that can help you manage the task.
You need to learn to start each of your sentence with a deep breath. Do this every time you need to respond in a conversation that is escalating to a shouting match. You also need to give the other party time to finish stating their points. Confirm if they are done before speaking. Breathing helps you take away the bite in your words, and keeps your presentation objective.
You need to get into the habit of asking more questions. Questions help to bring about more meaningful ideas, and the other party feels great too. It will also give you time to regroup. The other person also gets to think beyond what they currently were. The conversation will benefit by there being more substantial issues on the table and will approach an agreeable ending. You will also notice that there are fewer emotions as you keep talking. You will field questions that get them to elaborate on their ideas, or to illustrate them further. These questions show your genuine interest to learn more and come across as not having emotions.
You need to conclude the conversation in agreement then. No one gains anything when it ends at an argument. This should also make you see sense in turning a difficult conversation into an easier and friendlier one. You can point out the things both parties agree on and focus on those as you draw to a close.
The tips shared here are best executed when you are actively listening to what is being said, and remain present.